I don't know if I really care much for death. One the one hand (if I'm in the right boat, so to speak), death leads to a time of sleeplike existence, comforted by the presence of God, before God resurrects me from the dead when he acts climactically to restore his whole universe. On the other hand, death means the end of me: my biological function ceases, my consciousness ceases, and I cease to exist; there is no me left to feel or experience. (Of course, there are plenty of other 'on the other hand's, as anyone who has taken a world religion course knows. But, at least for me, those are the only two options that I entertain - at the moment. I could be wrong, it could be neither of the two, but in terms of what actually crosses my mind, the two given above are it). In either case, there is nothing to fear nor to worry about.
But you see, what I do care about is the road that leads to death - that I fear. It is lined with pain and suffering. Whether it is the split second of pain as the bullet impacts the side of your skull before everything goes blank; or the slow, agonizing minutes as you drown, your lungs and blood burning as your blood pH goes whack; or the months/years of pain as cancer eats away at your body. No, the road to death is what I fear. As I realize more and more, for many in this world it is pain and suffering that marks ones dying-process. Starvation and malnutrition; disease and sickness; guns and bombs. All rip people apart, all are full of pain and suffering. Not many are lucky enough to die peacefully in their sleep at a ripe old age.
Perhaps it is right to say I don't fear death - I fear dying.
Grace to you all...my gut says we could all use some.
Kev
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heeeey kevin. i am actually spending some of my precious time visiting your blog. u should really join xanga. i read more ppls stuff there instead. anyway...the stuff u say is pretty insightful and i must say, your writing is pretty good. (compared to all the other xangians' style of writing.) like i could actually learn something educational from reading your blog. interesting..anyway you're probably wondering who this is. you wished you knew eh? you'll find out soooon enough. ttyl.
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