Purpose

An odd feeling came over me this morning while I was preparing my breakfast. I couldn't quite put a name to it.

At first, I thought it was loneliness. Maybe I'm just feeling a little lonely. I just got back from a very socially-stimulating vacation, and now I'm in my house all alone with no one home. Maybe I'm just lonely. But as I thought about it more, I realized that loneliness just wasn't it. I wasn't lonely.

Then it struck me. Like a tonne of bricks it came down on me. I have no purpose. I'm running around like a lab rat trying to get through medical school applications, but I have no purpose. I have a vague direction, a general feeling, some values, goals, dreams - but I have no purpose. I know what I want to do in life (I think), I know how to go about doing that (I think), but I do not know why I am doing it. That deep down, big picture, serious "why".

Perhaps it's utterly pessimistic. You live, you die. If you want to live, you need food and house and fun. None of that comes free. So get a good job, live well, then die happy.

But will I die happy? Is it possible to live and die happily without purpose? Can I be truly satisfied in life without purpose?

Is my life for more than just me?

Yes, I'm Back

I'm home.

I've been home since Sunday night.

I've been really busy the past two days. Well, now I'm a certified first aid-er.

I wrote a long post on my time in Ottawa. I'll be posting it up with pictures over the next week.

I'm Back!

I'm alive.

I survived my MCAT - that brutal, 10 hour long, test. I plan to do a brain dump, blog style, in the near future.

Also, I leave tomorrow morning for Ottawa for my friend's wedding. I'll be taking my laptop and digital camera with me. Maybe I can blog some of the trip? In either case, that's where I'll be till Sunday. Expect some sort of writing to come out of that trip. That and me writing my UBC med school application. Oh joy!

What else is to come? Oh yes, I got a part time job. I'll be working for Arts ISIT this coming school year. I'll be a computer lab attendant at the Buchanan computer labs. Not too shabby. Good pay too (relative, of course).

What I'm trying to say is, I'm back.

More to come.

The Last Leg

Once again, blogging is on a hold for the week. I'm in last leg of studying and preparing for the MCAT exam this Saturday. I've done one full length, timed, practice exam. I did quite well. I surprised myself. I also found some weak areas which I will work on tomorrow.

Moreover, the MCAT exam includes 2x30 min essay sections. Each of the two sections is essentially identical. You are presented with a prompt - some statement that is sorta-true-sorta-not. Then you are given three tasks to write about in a coherent essay. First, explain what the statement means; second, provide a counterexample of the statement; and third, determine what decides whether the statement or the counterexample is true. It really is quite formulaic. The tasks, for example, are always the same (with appropriate modification for each of the two prompts).

So anyways, I will be doing plenty of (hand)writing over the next few days. I'm not sure if I'll have anything left for (blog)writing.

Pebbles

I know I haven't posted in a while. So instead of the usual long, rambling post about something interesting, I have a few small pebbles.

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I have been studying for the MCAT this past while. Harsh studying. For those who don't know (I don't know, maybe you live in a cave), the MCAT is a standardized exam used by many Canadian medical schools to help them judge who would make a better doctor. They even have this journal article on their website that correlates MCAT performance with success in medical school. I don't have a link. I could probably find it but (1) I'm too tired and (2) I think tens of thousands of people paying $210 US is enough to write anything in a journal. Must be a great business. I should invent a standardized test...

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I'm flying out to Ottawa in a couple weeks for Dan's wedding. I'm excited to travel. I'm also excited to see a good friend of mine tie the knot. I will always remember his advice: happy wife, happy life.

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This year's season for the Knights has come to its end. Yes, it is true, we did make the playoffs. But considering 6 of the 7 teams in the tier did, it wasn't exactly all that hard. And, true to form, we got our asses kicked in the first game.

Nonetheless, it was a great season. I had lots of fun, and just enjoyed playing the game - win or lose. Well, mostly lose.

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I have finished 3 seasons of 24 so far. I'm an addict.

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I've been reading some books by James Fowler on human development and faith development. There's a lot of stuff I've been mulling about. Future posts, no doubt.

finis