That Feeling Again

Not this again.

I hate this feeling.

I've been through this before. I thought I was past it. I thought I wouldn't have to go through it again.

It's that feeling that everything is bound to crumble. Everything I am, everything I do, all my goals and aspirations, all my plans, everything will just collapse into a smoldering heap.

I hate this feeling.

Not just that, but it's the feeling that I'm bound to be a loser in life. And I don't mean 'dork', I am a dork already - that's pretty obvious. It isn't an issue with self image before others, not that kind of loser. I mean a feeling that every time I'm going to 'shoot for the stars' I'm destined to fail. That kind of loser. A person who 'loses' out in life.

Fuck.

Make it go away.

What more can I do but thank God for every day I have: every day I'm allowed to enjoy this incredibly blessed life of mine.

But still, it's a horrible feeling, this pessimism.

Make it go away.